Thursday, October 1, 2009

Can someone tell society to shove it? Because this is my life...

Age is nothing but a number is all I hear and have always heard. I never really paid attention to it, until now. I know some of you are like, kiddo you don't know nothing about aging just yet. But hear me out...I never have been the one to worry about wrinkles or age. I was always the one who said that same phrase to others. "Age Ain't Nothin' But a Number...bring it!!"
Let's go back in time to my 29th birthday. I was on top of the world. No-one or nothing could touch me. I had it all. My son, my first house, my truck, and great friends. I went out and I had fun. I was in great shape, and feeling good. That year was great!!
Then a few weeks before my 30th birthday, I realized I was turning 30. I was not married as society tells us we should be married, and planning or have kids. (Note: I did this already, it didn't work. Yes, I did it backwards and I became a statistic. That is what I am called, I prefer single mother.) Anyways let's that dwell on that, I have a point. I had that moment when you look in the mirror and you realize it's your time. YOU are getting older, turning 30, and ???. Not to add fuel to the fire, all my friends were there. Married with kids all turning 30 with me, except I didn't have those things checked off my 30's list. Because society tells us that we must follow the rules and of course with the rules comes a time line. I was the third wheel, and I was always the bridesmaid and not the bride.
Now I'm 31, and I have passed the dreaded 30 mark. I am engaged, so there is hope. Society, who ever those people are, listen up. This is my life and I play by my rules. If I fall, I fall, and let the fall be a big one. And so it was. If I cry, let me cry like there is no tomorrow. But yet there was a tomorrow. And when I fail, who are you to judge. Because maybe I changed my mind. I am allowed to do things my way. It's my life.
So I am not letting anything get in my way of MY LIFE. The reason I am ranting on and on is because this month my best friend, Evelyn is getting married. And I come to realize that we don't stop and enjoy the ride of our lives. My philosophy has always been to have fun and live life and not let life dictate what we should do. When I met my son's father, I was on top of the world. And then for a moment I visited HELL. A place I rather not visit or stay at. I decided after that moment that just because my son only had one parent, that we were going to make it. And that even though, in everyone's eyes we were just another statistic or disappointment, that we were going to be the exception. Life is hard people. I know. My mom moved here from El Salvador to escape the war, and the poverty. And what did I do, I invited the war and poverty to my life. There were days I couldn't see why or how I could do it, but I had my goals and my promises to myself and my son.
I go back to when I met Evelyn in elementary school. And how fun life was. All the moments we had. We sang New Kids on the Block songs on the bus in middle school. We cheered together side by side at football games. Even our parents, different schools, and time could not keep us apart. Our friendship is so timeless. We went through our adventures on our own for a couple of years and here we are. My bestie is getting married.

This month will prove to be a great month of wonderful wedding events. I cannot wait. Stay tune to all the crazyness and play by play as I journal one of the happiest moments in my bestie's life.
Next stop....bachelorette party...


Rocky Mountain Memoirs said...

Like you, I sort of did things backwards...had a kid, then got married, had another kid, got divorced. All by the time I was 26! I was a statistic, too. But, life does go on and, like you, I decided to stop letting society dictate what I should be doing.

I'm soon to be 36 and it is true what they is better in your 30's. I couldn't be happier and I know you're experiencing the same thing.

Unknown said...

I did everything backwards as well. And who cares!!!

I love being a single mother. LOVE.
And it's way heathier for my daughter to have one "emotionally stable" parent, than two living together and pulling their hair out.

31 hit me hard. Worse than 30 because I was actually "in" my 30's now. (LE SIGH)

but again, who cares. I'm 41 now, and life couldn't be better.

Love your blog, following you from MBC. Good luck on reaching 100 followers.