Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Just when everything was going good...

***Disclosure-No compensation was received.  Informational post only.Today was not a good day from the start. It was thundering and raining. It even flooded. As I woke up this morning listening to the thundering little did i know that was not the worst of it. My son's school was not cancelled but yet test (TAKS) were postponed. I had to go to work and the roads were ugly. I did not mention I have an old Honda that sits on the floor. So I had to drive my fiance's Impala that only sits up a couple of inches from sitting on the floor too, plus i hate driving his car. He has tint and I feel as i can't see, and the body style on that car is huge. Yes, I am venting. Bare with me. I had a call today from something from my past. Wow, yes it turned my day upside down. At one point I even thought my engagement was over. You know when you try to handle something but then it gets to hard for you to handle. Well think about it like that times ten and then well I had not told my fiance. It was not a secret. It was just my problem not his. As my name says it I am very Independent. I don't like asking for help, much less being dependent on someone else. I have never had anyone to lean on being a single parent for 10 years. The more and more i tried to handle this situation that has escalated over the years, the more it got worse. I tried going about things as normal as possible at work. I could not. By 4 pm today all H-E-L-L had broke loose. My fiance was no longer taking my calls. My friend and I have nothing to say to each other. I am devasted. The school called and said there will not be any afterschool care all kids must be picked. And it is still raining outside with a threat of flooding all over again. I broke down. I cried. I remembered where I was at, finished my work, and went home. I can't control everything everyday. I can only do so much. I have lost control and now what's done is done. I picked up my son. I went home. I waited for my fiance to call or come home. He came home. We went for a walk and I realize once again why i am marrying this guy. He is my rock. The rain has now stopped at least over in my neighborhood. I realized it is ok to be a little dependent because that doesn't make me weak, or whatever I was thinking. I, independentmami, needs to be dependent just a little of her new papi. We are going to be partners and that is what partners are, and do. So as this long day is coming to an end shortly I sit here next to my papi knowing everything is better than good. The wedding is still on!!!!

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