Flick Friday-Second Act Movie

Do you have career goals?  Or are you where you want to be?  Do you aspire to do more?

My current situation has me rethinking all this and more.  Clearly when I was little I had others trying to push me to think ahead.  All throughout my school-aged years I wanted to be a teacher.  I loved helping others.  One summer in elementary school, I even volunteered to go to summer school and be a teacher’s assistant. I loved every minute of it.

Fast forward to now.  I never finished college.  That decision has been looming over me, more than ever lately.  Do not get me wrong.  I have been very fortunate to have the positions I have had.  I have had wonderful mentors who took me under their wings and were not afraid to teach me their jobs.  With these opportunities I have held coveted positions that I earned not based on a piece of paper but with my experience.

But is it just a piece a paper?

Disclosure-I was invited to an advanced screening.  All opinions stated are my own based on my personal experience.

Life happens sometimes. But most of us will come out in the end the best we can for our situations.

The struggle is real. The decision to leave school was all my mine. I do not regret deciding to provide for my son.

We should not doubt our worth. Experience was earned. You have done your time. But you need to believe that you can do it and be able to sell yourself. Your pitch, your story, and your resume - their
yours. Maybe one place may turn you down but that might have not been the place you belonged. Find your place.

Second Act is a funny movie about life. Follow Jennifer Lopez on her journey to find her place.

Synopsis-SECOND ACT is an inspirational comedy starring Jennifer Lopez as Maya, a 40-year-old woman struggling with frustrations of not having achieved more in life. As an experienced, quickwitted, perceptive employee, she is passed over for a promotion solely because she doesn’t have a college degree. Until, that is, she gets the chance to prove that street smarts are as valuable as book smarts, and that it is never too late for a Second Act.

If you are not where you want to be? Do something about it! This is what I am telling myself. Whether

it is another job, another career, or going back to school.

What will your second act be?

Second Act is now in theaters. Find out more at:  Official Website| Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

Climbing My Mountain

What does Miley's song say?  It's a climb!  I was fortunate enough to be able to take a trip to see my son who is stationed in California this past October.  What I did not know was that I was going to have a lot of time to myself.  I was able to take a breather from everyday life.  And since I was in beautiful sunny California, why not explore?   

This year has brought a lot with it.  My year of Finding Forty has been by far the most emotional year.  It is not until I stopped to reflect, that I was able to face it head on.  My adventure started with me needed to fill my morning with something to do.  I love to be outdoors and seeing all of God's beauty.  I also love to challenge myself, something I have not been doing lately.  This time I did not have a schedule or routine to keep.  I was able to do things on the fly.  This mami does not do things on the fly.  I am a planner, scheduler, and organizer.  In my life everything has to have a purpose and fall into place.  This is how I can have control.  But there are things I cannot control and that is so scary.  Those have been the most scariest things I have to admit to.  Me not in control. 

Climbing Cowles Mountain was something to do that morning.  What I did not know was that it was what my soul needed.  I did not just sweat my way to the top, there were a few tears shed.  Not just because I did not realize what I got myself into, I sometimes under estimate things.  This 1,593 foot climb to the highest peak of San Diego will go down on my list.  Like when you are struggling and someone asks, "You ok?"   

Thumbs up, yeah!  Me?  Just fine.  I came prepared with water, cap, sunglasses, a jacket, etc.  But just like in life, it does not matter how prepared you think you are.  I was not ready.  I doubted myself and my ability plenty of times.  I had to keep telling myself that I was not a quitter.  I think the scary part was that I was alone.  But I really was not.  There were plenty of people on the trail with me, doing the climb.  And yet, I felt alone.  I was texting my husband and keeping him posted on my status.  And yet, I was alone. 

Have you ever felt alone?  I have.  On this climb and in life.  I started out strong with a good pace.  I knew I had my asthma pumps with me, just in case.  I also told myself to take breaks as needed and rest in shady areas when I would find them.  I did.  I even let people pass me up.  I did not want to hold anyone back.  I never do.  I like to help others overcome, move forward, and accomplish their goals.  I give advice and yet I forget to take my own.  Every step I took, I let more and more go.  The weight on my shoulders was getting lighter and lighter.  As I reach every mile marker, it seemed as it was a reflecting of each stage of my life. 

I have lived a great life.  I have accomplished many things I set out to do.  I have overcome.  My bullheadedness to not fail has been my motivator to keep rising.  The point is not to stop.  My fears were taken by the wind.  My eyes refocused.  And me, well I am still climbing. 

When I thought I had no more fuel, I saw the top.  I reached the top of Cowles Mountain.  It was beautiful.  I sight to see, to enjoy, and to just - sit and be still.  I did it.  It wanted to shout once I got to the top.  I actually almost fell to my knees with thankfulness.  Once I took it all in and recovered, I had something come over me.  I jogged my way down.  I was super careful around the corners, got stuck behind a slow person, and then when I had the opportunity, I bolted for the bottom. 

In life, there will always be more mountains to climb.  You are not alone.  It is your climb.  However you choose to climb it.  You choose the mountain.  Whatever mile marker you are on, face it head on!

Finding Forty

Where are you?  Where have you been?  What have you done?  Are you still there?  Do you see me? 

I see you.  I see what you have done.  I see where you have been.  I...  See... YOU!

It is very easy to get lost.  Lost in your thoughts, in your ambitions, and in life.  Get ready because this is raw, this is me.  

What do you see when you see the above picture?  It is out of focus.  Not the best picture.  It is not Instagram quality.  

I now know what it means to have a midlife crisis.  I hit the big 4-0 this summer.  Life was happening and has been happening.  Nothing different, just another birthday.  Or is it just another birthday?  In last month's unexpected trip, I had plenty of time to reflect, resolve, and renew myself.  

Do you take the time to reflect?  I had stopped or maybe forgotten to.  I am slowly starting to get focus.  Things that were important to me before, are no longer important now.  And that is okay with me.  It did not use to be.  I thought something was wrong but it was not.  It is okay to like what you like and not like what others like.  You know about FOMO?  Fear of missing out.  I have been a victim of that.  I came in my thirties swinging.  Boy, I was riding on a freaking high of life.  Everything was going right for me.  I could not have planned this out, even if I tried.  I was excelling at being a single mom.  I found my prince charming.  One by one, things were happening.  And then, my bubble was burst time after time, after time.  Like I said, life was happening.  

To be honest I thought I could handle it.  I really tried.  The more I tried to be stronger, the harder it got.  I fell deeper and deeper but no one heard me fall.  I did not scream, I did not ask, I did not try...what I did do was continue as is it was all fine.  I suffered in secret.  I closed off myself from my friends and family.  To this day, some do not even know.  Why?  Because I am supposed to be the strong one.  Since I was little I saw my mom handle so much and never, ever show a weakness.  What I did not realize is that this would become a problem.  Depression comes and slap me in the face.  

Even as I write this post, I pause as too not put myself out there.  

What I know is that sharing my struggles with others has helped me.  It is still a struggle.  At one point, how others looked at me was so important.  Now, it is how I see myself that needs to change.  I need to allow myself to lose control, not have everything perfectly planned, and do things on the fly.  

I do not know what or how the Forties will look like for me.  I am returning to the basics and doing things that make me happy.  I am admitting the things I cannot do.  I am letting go of the things I cannot change.  I am inviting what's to come.  There is a light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how lost you get.  I am reminding myself who I am.  Self, I see you.    

    

 At this point, I am finding forty.  Cheers to living my best!  Whatever that is, whatever that may be!

Confessions from Independentmami - Then and Now

I have been very distant as a lot of things are going on here in our house.  I want to thank all of my dear readers that have been following my story for almost ten years now.  Ten years ago, I was a single mom just looking to share my story with other moms maybe facing the same trials and tribulations as I was. 

Let me bring you up to speed to all that has happened.  My baby boy is not so little any more.  Life has not been so easy as you can imagine there are several issues that come up when you are both mom and dad.  But I feel that what did not kill us only made us stronger.  They say boys are momma's boys, right?

The school years were long and hard for both of us.  Sometimes the finish line seemed impossible. 

But we made it.  My baby boy accomplished something many people take for granted.  Many kids get lost throughout the middle school and high school years.  They get overcome, overwhelmed, and just get over it.  Years later they realize that this accomplishment is one they wish they could go back to.

I am proud to say that baby boy graduated from the first energy high school in the US.  He has decided he would like to become a Mechanical Engineer.  After high school, we had a serious conversation of where he wanted to go from this point and what his next goal would be.  I have always told my son that the one thing I regret is not finishing college.  We both talked about his options and we enrolled him in community college.  He wanted to stay close to home and was not ready to leave far away just yet.

Fast forward to this winter.  My son asked to speak with me.  His tone was very serious.  I did not know what to think.  The conversation went deep.  My son told me he had decided to join the Navy.  Errrrrrrr..... freeze time.  What did he just say?  Don't get me wrong back when we had our conversation about goals and his future, we talked about the military being an option.  (1) one option out of the many options presented.  unfreeze time....

He had gone to the recruiters, taken the ASVAB, and signed on the dotted line.  There were lots of emotions going through my head.  I was so taken back because of the news.  Of course, i was proud.  My eighteen year old son was now taking on adult decisions without mom.  Very proud.  Scary because I mean, you know why.  I feel as time flew by from the time he told me to this past week. 

His ship day.  There are dates the get stitched in your head for some reason or another.  My son's ship date is one of them.  See the picture above, in this room, in this building, many men and women say good bye to family members to take on the commitment to serve our country, protect our freedom, and lay down their lives.  There is a swear in ceremony and shortly after, you say your see you laters.  They are bused over to take their flights and away they go to their boot camps. 

Woosaahhh..... I feel like life punched me in the gut just one good time right before I entered this room.  When we were asked were we ready, I started balling?  All my emotions hit me all at once.  Remember this is my baby boy, it has been me and him against the world for nineteen years now.  He will always be my baby boy no matter how old he gets or how many things he accomplishes.  The weekend before he left I was dying in bed with the flu.  I had a whole memorable weekend planned for us to share.  Because I was quarantined, we did not get to spend the last few precious moments together.  I did get to say my see you later to him, watch his ceremony, and hear his voice one last time once he landed.  This past week flew by and then this weekend came.  It finally caught up with me.  Something is missing.  There is an emptiness.  He has been gone before a week at a time but never for several weeks straight, much less months. 

My only comfort is that I know he will be able to call home, write letters, and this too shall pass.  Time will go by and soon enough we will be at his graduation. 

There you have it.  I have been absent minded trying to stay focused on the things that matter the most to me-FAMILY.

Happy 10 Year Anniversary To The Mister

Social media has changed my life.  Ten years ago, I took the chance of sending the Mister a message on social media.  Ten years ago, he replied back. 

We became inseparable from the minute we started hanging out.  We actually have known each other since we were younger.  We went to school together but we didn't even have each other on our radars.  I never thought one quick hello would lead to many future hellos that followed with kisses.

The Mister and I had more than our old schools in common.  Who knew that a nerd and cool cat would ever end up together?  They say opposites attract, right?  But we actually had many things we do both like.  We share the love of music, baseball, and many more things. 

Funny thing is time has flown by and we feel like we have been together longer.  Like our wedding song said, "God bless the broken road that led me straight to you!" 

In any relationship, it is all about give and take.  You both have to participate.  You both have to communicate.  Some lessons have been harder than others.  But the one thing I know, is that together we stand facing it all.  It is not all fairytales.  Life throws you curveballs.  Our team got a little bigger along the way.  We have gone from three to four.  I thought all was complete until our daughter was born.  I never knew something was missing until we were blessed with her in our lives. 

You never know where life will lead you.  You have to be willing to try.  We never thought this is where we would be but we are both happy this is where we are. 

Happy 10 year anniversary to the Mister.  Ready for many more seasons to some.  And in case you are wondering, today is the Houston Astros opening day which is one of our traditions we celebrate together.